


Same as it ever was

by astralplanewife



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Autism Spectrum, Gen, LGBTQ Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 15:46:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11763138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralplanewife/pseuds/astralplanewife
Summary: When you were literally grown in a tube in a lab, social ineptitude kinda comes with the package. A Mitsuki-centric (mostly)comedy fanfic with a hint of #growingupgay!





	1. And you may ask yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Eeyoo! This is my first fanfic and it was beta:d by my friend @Reaperduckling. We are both ESL tho so if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes, please tell me :).  
> Work and chapter titles from the Kermit cover of Talking Heads-Once in a lifetime(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCY0aeUx-Ns)

Boruto is very confusing to Mitsuki. Well, to be fair, ever since Mitsuki transferred to the Konoha Ninja Academy, everything is confusing for him. Every time he interacts with someone, there are endless possibilities to what the outcome will be. There must be some big secret to socializing that they don’t teach at the academy (it's only fair since he has a big secret of his own, he figures). While the arts of socializing are vexing, he's learned to expect confusion at this point. He, truly, doesn't really care anyway. But with Boruto's own exact brand of unpredictability… It's different. 

While Mitsuki quite honestly used to not care about the difference between the social implications of being challenged to a death match and "No, Mitsuki, it's just a figure of speech!", Boruto’s presence and his blunt ways of telling him that “I won't like you if you fight like that”, a small voice in the back of Mitsuki’s head whispers: "Does that mean that he'll like-like me if I don't do that?"... It feels very motivating to try to be softer, not as harsh, and more helpful to his peers. Social appearances actually do matter if it concerns how Boruto views him.

He has found that he really, really likes that Boruto surprises him at every turn. Even though he smells way too strongly of mAXE spray. Even though his voice that carries over the entire training field with ease, should by all laws of reason just be loud obnoxious grating to Mitsuki's ears. Even though the only constant thing about his erratic behavior is that it is just that, completely unreasonable. Besides that this trait in Boruto, this spontaneous recklessness, could be useful in the future… It's just very… tempting. To be Boruto's friend. To maybe actively try not to scare him away. 

But the more things change, the more things stay the same. Boruto, for all his inconsistencies, is very unlike the Class Representative girl. The dynamic Mitsuki has with her is yet again different (simply because she is, at her core, not). To him this means: disposable.  
An order is an order, and that's the end of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally interpret Mitsuki as having some kind of autism spectrum disorder. I am autistic myself and I do find him very relatable in many ways. HOWEVER- I do think that he's a very morally grey character, and this work is to neither defend his more unsavory actions or somehow generalize all autistic people as mean/evil/insensitive. I just think he's an interesting character and I want to explore his thoughts/actions a lil bit more than they are in canon.


	2. My God! What have I done?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boruto once told Mitsuki that apologies are needed after trying to assassinate someone, so he believes it to be true.

It was not the end of that. Borutoian forces came in the way, but this new trajectory turned out to have a lot of interesting potential. So Mitsuki decided to let things go with the Class Represetati-Sumire. However, he had a suspicion (based on how his previous attempted murder on a classmate went) that she might not feel the same apathy regarding the transpired events. At least not without a good apology. 

And so, after school on the day that Sumire came back to the Ninja Academy, Mitsuki figured that he’d talk to her alone (since the whole Nue-incident was apparently all hush-hush now, according to Boruto). He followed Sumire on the way home, and as soon as her friends had gone the other way and were out of earshot, he stepped out of the shadows and approached her. 

"What do you want?" Sumire asked with her back turned to him, not even looking at him. Well, that certainly made avoiding eye contact a lot easier, so he wasn’t complaining. 

"I'm sorry for trying to assassinate you", Mitsuki began. "Your back tattoo disappeared. I don't have any more reason to kill you, since you're no longer of any use to me", he reassured her.

Sumire turned around, "Well, that's… good?" she retorted with the kind of inflection that Mitsuki never quite understood. Accompanied with a facial expression that was even harder to interpret. While he was so focused on decoding her body language, she started talking again. 

"-look… Mitsuki… What I did was wrong. And I'm trying to put what happened behind me. So I will forgive you. But I'm getting the feeling that you, right now, are walking down the exact same path that I was. Don't you think that's…not that great for you?" She stumbled on the words on the last part.

Mitsuki furrowed his brows. She already knew he’d been following her, why would she state the obvious? Or maybe she hadn't meant it literally? Crap, she had already started talking again.  
"I still don't know who you work for. Are they planning something to hurt the village? Because if so, maybe you should talk to Lord Hokage or Mr. Sai abou-"

"There's no need for that" he interrupted. This interaction was starting to go south, he could feel it. 

"Yeah, ok…" She looked…. Defeated? Sad? Angry? He couldn't tell. Anyway, that seemed to be his queue. He started to step back into the shadows, ignoring the high-pitched sniveling sounds he heard coming from the opposite direction. It was probably just a raccoon. Yep, definitely a raccoon. Soon enough, he couldn't hear the noises at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we have some Sumire+Mitsuki interaction! It didn't go that well this time bc: while I'm interested in seeing the two become friends/having a least some kinda closure, I feel like considering the two counts of attempted murder+threats+Mitsuki being a very insensitive person as of now it would've been unrealistic and also possibly a bit offensive for the apology to go over well? I will say that I'm basing a lot of Mitsuki's characterization on myself when I was about twelve, where I would SORT OF mean well but bc of not understanding social interaction come off as very rude in a lot of situations.


	3. Behind the wheel of a large automobile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe he needs to go more with the actual flow and just be a kid, or something like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haveth made my glorious return!!! Hopefully Mitsuki gets more screentime from now on so i can update more regularly... Speaking of writing, i'm considering writing a fic about Chocho finding self love and feminism(it would ofc, like this one, also be very projection-y), lemme know if you wanna see that :D Beta:d and ninja fact-checked by @reaperduckling

Now that Boruto is Mitsuki’s new best friend(at least, that is what he figures that it means when most of what he says makes Boruto laugh, rather than like before make him look either vaguely confused or VERY confused), preparations must be made. They work great as a team(well, to be completely fair Shizuma almost ended Mitsuki, but they did however get in some pretty good combo moves on him before the aforementioned “almost-dying” happened). Everything points to them having a good battle dynamic. That, combined with the overall usefulness of keeping Boruto close for observation’s sake, means that they surely have to team up when they form their genin teams.  
Sarada seems like a good option for the position of number three in their genin team, because;

1) She’s pretty strong, and she’s the daughter of Sasuke Uchiha. That means that she has limitless potential, or at least that’s what his parent says. Mitsuki believes it.

2) When Boruto and Sarada are not around, all of their classmates say that Boruto and Sarada will inevitably eventually get married and their current constant bickering is just them practicing for their future together. The speculation on possible baby names so far are Dorito or possibly Boruto junior (Inojin had laughed so hard he cried when he came up with that last one). Mitsuki thinks that this is probably true, since unlike him, all the other kids seem to have two parents. Obviously they would all be far more knowledgeable on the subject. So, as Boruto’s best friend, Mitsuki feels personally responsible for making the beautiful blossoming of Boruto and Sarada’s relationship happen. He's even made a flowchart with all the reasons why this match will be perfect. What better way to matchmake them other than to make them genin teammates? 

3) Even though they have barely talked, she seems nice. Mitsuki guesses that if he puts just a little effort into it, they can too become friends. It’s not even like he has tried to kill her or something. Seeing as he and Sumire seem to get along fine (they sometimes even silently nod to each other when they pass each other in the hallway!), there is really no reason for him not to get along with Sarada. Who he, as mentioned, has not tried to kill at all at any point in time. It will all work out. 

If everything pans out the way he imagined, Boruto will follow in his father’s footsteps and become the next Hokage, marry Sarada, have the adorable Dorito (or possibly Boruto junior). Everything repeats itself, ad infinitum, badabing badadom. And Mitsuki wi-well, to be completely honest, he hasn’t given much thought into what he himself will become. Everything in his plans seems completely focused on Boruto and Boruto’s happiness (well, he is the sun after all). Definitely not on what Mitsuki will be to himself, and not even what he’ll be to Bo-  
No.  
Maybe he’s too young to have all of (not even his) life planned ahead, especially all the magical destiny stuff that is too complicated to even make a flowchart of. Maybe he needs to go more with the actual flow and just be a kid, or something like that. It’s just that he doesn’t really care about anything unless it’s about… Just forget it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12 y/o ALMOST teenage angst is the new teenage angst! Also stay tuned you guys, in another 15+ years we just might get Dorito: Boruto Naruto Next Next Generations! :D


	4. In another part of the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I asked him once what the Hidden Sound village was like, and he just said that he was born in a lab and raised in a cave, and that he never saw much of the actual village.” Denki piped up. “My guess is that Mitsuki is, in fact, a robot.”  
> Boruto both defends and confronts Mitsuki in the same day! 12-y/o friendship drama ensues!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh yeah here's some actual plot and stuff happening. Beta:d and ninja fact-checked by @Reaperduckling.

“…Let’s face it-Mitsuki is very, very weird. Ever since he transferred to the Konoha Ninja Academy, he keeps “accidentally” hurting his opponents in practice sparring-“

“He almost snapped my neck once” Iwabe interjected.

“-yes,” Shikadai continued to the mostly empty classroom(empty but for the usual gang, except for Mitsuki), “and I bet he had something to do with the Ghost incidents, even though that was all quieted down. And Boruto,” he said while pointing dramatically (all while slouching) at Boruto himself, “He keeps playing along with all your antics, and making them 100% worse! You remember the scaffolding around school when they were doing reconstruction? Yeah? Well, we had to kiss all that precious scaffolding goodbye since he broke it all down just because you wanted to win a stupid training exercise!”

“Well, you know..” Boruto started shakily. He had to direct attention from the speculation about the Ghost incidents somehow, he really didn’t want Sumire(or Mitsuki, for that matter) to get in trouble...“Well. You know.” He smartly continued onwards. “He’s actually really nice! Once you get to know him…”

Shikadai sighed exasperatedly. “That’s easy for you to say! You’re literally the only one he talks to!”

“I asked him once what the Hidden Sound village was like, and he just said that he was born in a lab and raised in a cave, and that he never saw much of the actual village.” Denki piped up. “My guess is that Mitsuki is, in fact, a robot.”

“Guys, guys!” This situation was really, really bad. Maybe even bad enough for an inspirational speech to be needed! Boruto stood up from his bench and walked in front of everyone else. He crossed his arms (very confidently). “Well, you know… I admit, he’s really weird! But! He’s our classmate, we gotta be nice to eachother, and not be mean, and stick together! Have you all forgotten about the ninja way? The way of friendship?” Nice one, Boruto!

Shikadai just shrugged, and they went back to talking about Ninja Bout.

The situation seemed to have calmed down, and Boruto released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. But, to be fair… weren’t the guys… kind of right? Mitsuki had made some mistakes, especially while sparring with their classmates. He had also said things to Boruto that sounded almost a little bit… stalker-ish. However, he really was an alright friend all around, just a bit… insensitive. But how how to tell Mitsuki to knock it off without hurting his feelings(too much)? Boruto did the only responsible thing a boy of twelve years of age could do:  
He decided to talk to his Mom about it.

* * *

When Boruto got home from school that day, the first thing he did was so check the freezer for pizza nuggets. After that, he actually remembered his epic quest for the day, and shouted: “MOOOOOOM!”  
“I’m not that far away sweetie….” Hinata said from across the kitchen. “I’m sorry, I forgot to buy pizza nuggets, but I saved this really good fruit for yo-“ 

“Mom! I have something super important to talk about, more important than snacks!”

“Oh, what is it?”

“You know my friend Mitsuki?”

Hinata smiled. “Yes, I remember him! He seemed like a good boy, very polite.”

“I don’t know how to explain this but he’s kind of saying some stuff about “watching over me” that’s making me feel really uncomfortable, it’s kind of stalker-ish, he’s nice otherwise though, so I really wanna still be friends with him, but it feels really weird that he’s “observing” me or whatever, can’t he just be my friend, I-“

Hinata laughed at his endless run-on-sentence. “You seem to have a lot on your mind. Well…. I think, with him, well, I’ve only met him once, but he seemed quite…. different. I think he was brought up in a household that was a bit unconventional, some ninja clans are that way. Maybe he just doesn’t understand that he’s making you feel uncomfortable? I think you should do what any good friend would do, and just tell him what you just said. Maybe just a bit more calm and structured.”

“Yeah, that’s was kind of what I was thinking. Thanks mom!” Boruto bolted out the door, ninja style, and starting running towards the downtown area. Snacks(and actually spending time with his family) could wait until later! 

* * *

Boruto’s plan to just poke around town until Mitsuki eventually showed up(because he usually did, in some strange way. Maybe he could teleport?) worked. While Boruto was staring into a shop window(thinking of the snacks he hadn’t eaten at home), he felt something suddenly appear beside him. Boruto turned around, and it was Mitsuki, standing there! Success! His happiness must have shown, because;

“That’s usually not what you look like when I find you. You usually look more alarmed.” Mitsuki said with his head tilted to one side.

“Yes ok! But I need to talk to you! About something! Something important!”

Mitsuki stared at Boruto again in that way he found kind of unnerving. Did the guy ever blink? He looked at Boruto almost the way you’d look at a frog you’re dissecting in Ninja Biology class(until that was outlawed out of respect for the Frog Clan) or like an experiment animal that you’d poke and prob at to observe the reaction. Kind of what Boruto was going to address now though!

“….look, Mitsuki, you’re my friend and I like you and all, but this whole thing that you’re staying in Konoha just to watch me is getting kind of weird, can you please not say that stuff like that? It makes me really uncomfortable.”

Mitsuki’s eyes grew even larger than usual with confused shock. “But….what? This is how people act… When they care… You…”  
“No! Have you ever had a friend before?”

“Uh, to be fair, no. But my parent always says things like that to me and we have a good relationship, so… uh… I think…”

“Maybe they’re being unfair to you too! You can just be friends with someone, you don’t need to make it all weird by saying weird stuff like you’re watching over them! That’s so not cool!” 

“No, wait…. This is not how things go! You’re supposed to be grateful for the help I give you!” Mitsuki gesticulated wildly with his arms, and seemed more agitated than Boruto had ever seen him before. “My parent said that manipulation is a tradition that has passed through our family for generations! This isn’t what I’ve planned! I…” Mitsuki looked dejected. “Maybe I should just go.” He started sprinting the opposite direction so fast that a big cloud of dust blew up in Boruto’s face.

Well, that had gone absolutely terrible. Boruto decided that he for sure was going to get his pizza nuggets, if only to blow them up in the microwave one by one tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not the pizza rolls!!!!


	5. Living in a shotgun shack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mitsuki goes home and dwells on all his mistakes. Can his old man Orochimaru cheer him up? (Answer: Not likely).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is supposed to be more comedic than the rest of the story, hopefully it's funny :D! Slight spoilers up to episode 36 and for the manga special chapter that's about Mitsuki+Orochimaru. It starts with a flashback, idk how to italics so hopefully it's clear. Beta:d and ninja proof-checked by Reaperduckling

__

“Well… Mr.… Orochimaru…. Your son is very…. talented in school.” Shino-sensei nervously said to start off the Parent-Teacher Conference while sweating uncomfortably profusely. 

“Well, that’s just how I raised him.” Orochimaru seemed very proud.

“But…”

“But?”

“He has trouble with impulse control, and can be quite violent in sparring matches. On his first day here, he tried to break another student’s neck!”

“Just as I raised him…” Orochimaru sighed wistfully.

“Wait, Dad, I don’t really do that anymore. Boruto told me not to. And I apologized to Iwabe. ” Mitsuki cut in. That was very important information.

“Yeah, you know, about that Mitsuki… Have you ever considered making other friends than Boruto? He seems to be your only friend as far as I can tell.”

“No.” Mitsuki said confidently. “Maybe when we split into Genin teams I’ll befriend the third person, but that’s a maybe. I don’t understand people in general.”

“About that… Have you ever considered talking to the school counselor about improving your social skills? Teamwork is very important when you’re a ninja… And Mitsuki, you’re perceived somewhat of a… excuse me, Mr. Orochimaru, as a… troublemaker and a disturbance to your classmates.”

“That’s my boy!” Orochimaru smiled and ruffled Mitsuki’s hair.

* * *

“Are you sure people won’t recognize you if we go into town?” Mitsuki asked after the parent-teacher conference had ended. 

“Why no, my child” Orochimaru said confidently, adjusting his short wig and pointing at his heavy eye makeup, that was more of a smoky round shape this day rather than its usual cateye flick. “This disguise is bulletproof.”

“Ok… Dad, I’m gonna show you around in Konoha, so much must have changed since you lived here! There is the shop wherein I touched a mushroom that made my finger swell up and turn purple, and there-“

Mitsuki was interrupted by the reporter guy with the heavy purple eye makeup hastily coming up to Orochimaru-in-disguise(that he, to be completely frank, closely resembled) and offering to shake his hand. “Hello, good sir! I see that you have excellent taste in makeup and hair styling! I love your whole look!”

Orochimaru seemed very pleased at the compliment. “Thank you! I adore your makeup and hair as well!”

Then they chatted about hair products and makeup brands for what seemed like hours. Mitsuki was all about to fall asleep in the street when the reporter guy suddenly turned to him. Mitsuki was not about to prolong this boring conversation!

“Yes, my eyeliner is from MaybeLIEVE IT, can we go now, Dad?!”

The reporter guy started doing really big “NO” hand gestures and looked almost distressed. “No wait! As I said earlier today I’m actually a freelance reporter, the name’s Sukea. I really want to get a statement from you, young man! I just got so caught up in your dad’s overall dashing appearance that I forgot my actual job! That’s a BIG compliment, by the way” he turned his head to Orochimaru and winked. Orochimaru giggled excitedly in a manner very unlike him.

Mitsuki tried to remember what the reporter’s original question had been. Something about why one made the choice to become a ninja? “Well ok, I’m a ninja because I’m…” He paused. 

Well, technically he had literally been created to become one, there hadn’t been that much of a choice there. But as Orochimaru said, he had the right to make his own choices now (which seemed fair, he had earned that through that whole ordeal of Orochimaru erasing his memory… was it 5 times or 6 times? He wasn’t 100% sure, he must still be a bit messed up from being given hardcore memory-altering drugs so many times. Anyways, Orochimaru had done that to make Mitsuki stronger, so obviously manipulating people worked and was perfectly ok in the long run). So the (current) reason for Mitsuki to become a ninja was:

“I want to see how a certain person influences the ones around him, including me. The only way to do that is to become a ninja in Konoha. It’s too interesting to miss out on, so here I am.”

The reporter put down his camera in his bag again. “Great! Well, that’s a wrap on my thing. See you around, hopefully.” He said that last bit more to Orochimaru than to the both of them. 

“He seemed very nice.” Orochimaru cheerfully said later on. “Sooo…. Mitsuki… Don’t keep me waiting. I came here to talk about your future with you, and it seems like you already made up your mind.”

“Yeah…. Dad, while I’m sad that we don’t see eachother very often, I really wanna stay in Konoha. Please.”

“Please?” Orochimaru curved a hideously overdrawn eyebrow(all part of the disguise). “Well, if you insist, my child. I sent you here to investigate the possible sun, and if you think you found him, you can stay. Just maybe not tell him that, you know, observing people is a lot easier if you keep it secret.”

“Uh yeah, about that….”

* * *

Back in the present, Mitsuki was so, so upset. Maybe even more upset than the time just before he activated sage mode for the first time. He ran away as fast as he could from his failures(and Boruto), until he reached the outskirts of town. Winded, he sat down on the ground and snake-telephone-called the only person who could help him:

“DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!”

“…..what??? I’m literally on the other side of the line, my child, you don’t have to yell!”

“I’m going home! Seeyoulaterbye!!”

“Wai-“ Mitsuki hung up on Orochimaru. On a second thought, there was no use talking about what had happened. Only misery to dwell in!

* * *

A week later consisting of cooping up in his room with only cheese puffs(he normally didn’t even like snack food, but desperate times called for desperate measures) and his very artistically crafted snake-themed boombox to keep him company, nothing had improved.

“Only the ancient monks understand how I feel” Mitsuki wallowed while listening to his tape of Gregorian chants. He started to heard loud noises coming from outside his room, almost like someone was kicking at his door. His only response was to turn up the volume of the music. 

….and with a boom, down went his door. Orochimaru had kicked it down.

“For a week you have been listening to this loud, boring music-“

“For your information it’s actually ancient western Gregorian chants, Dad”

“And! You have been even more disrespectful than normal!” Orochimaru continued. “And! Where did you even get this?” He pointed at the mostly empty Jumbo Ultra Mega Super Maxi bag of cheese puffs that Mitsuki was cradling like his firstborn child. “We live in a cave! There are no stores nearby!”

Mitsuki tried to mutter something that was originally supposed to be “None of your business” but he quickly took yet another cheese puff out of his bag and ate it, so it came out more like eating noises.

Orochimaru took a deep breath, seemingly to calm himself. “You know…. Maybe whatever funk you’re in needs to be dealt with. Maybe even over a game of Ninja Catch?” he added, sounding a little strained.

Mitsuki felt conflicted. He didn’t really want to leave the comfort of his room(or his cheese puffs), but he also had originally gone back home to talk to his parent. “Ok”, he muttered.

* * *

“Catch the kunai, my child!”

Mitsuki stretched his arm to catch the kunai that Orochimaru was hurdling towards the ceiling in their game of “Ninja Catch”. Before he caught it, it hit the cavern ceiling and got stuck there. Mitsuki tried to reach his arm up to get it out as Orochimaru said:

“You know, this would probably be a lot more fun if we were playing this outside and there were no cave walls for the kunai to get stuck in. Maybe we should just go to a bigger room.”

“Dad, I’m pretty sure that I have never seen anyone play “Ninja Catch” in Konoha. I even asked Boru… a friend if he had ever played it with Lord Hok…his Father, and he just changed the subject. Did you make this game up?”

“Whether or not I made this game up is inconsequential, what matters is our father-son bond.” Orochimaru said mysteriously. “Speaking of that bond, is there maybe something you want to tell me? Hm? Hm?”

“…I think Boruto hates me. I really messed up.”

Orochimaru started laughing at him.

“Dad! He said that I made hi-my actions made him uncomfortable. I thought that I was a good friend, looking out for him and steering him in the right direction….”

“Yeah, people tend to get very upset when they find out that you’re technically stalking and manipulating them. But! It is the Orochimaru family way, and like I’ve always told you, it has been passed down for generations along with such fine skills as lying, deceit and working from the shadows! Making people hate us could be considered our clan ability!” Orochimaru boasted.

“That’s really not making me feel any better….”

Orochimaru, however, didn’t seem concerned at all. “You didn’t tell him you were stalking him, did you? Because the number one rule of stalking people ninja-style is stealth. However, he disliking it doesn’t really matter. Because you can always stalk him from afa-“

“That’s the problem! I don’t want him to hate me, I want to be friends with him! Maybe I’m supposed to do what you couldn’t, dad. But I don’t know how.” 

But wait. Didn’t Boruto also talk a lot about not wanting to follow his father’s exact footsteps? Mitsuki had at the time dismissed it, but when he thought about it now, it made way more sense to want to create your own path in life, rather than just be following the same old tracks laid out for you. Wasn’t that the exact same thing Mitsuki was supposed to do? But instead, he had just bulldozed other people over, which was apparently not the typical behavior of a “good friend”. Maybe he had been going about this all wrong.

Maybe, “what Orochimaru couldn’t” included actually respecting the wishes of others, including the person Mitsuki really, really wanted to consider his best friend. Mayb-  
Orochimaru brought him back to earth by suddenly poking him in the shoulder. Twice. 

“What?”  
“My child, I created you to become your own person and make your own choices. That includes mistakes. Now, I’ve heard of this thing called an ‘apology’.” He made exaggerated finger-quotation marks. “I personally wouldn’t recommend it, never ends well for me, but you always do the exact opposite of what I say anyway, so maybe try that, hmm?”

“Oh yeah, apologies! I’ve had plenty of practice at those!” Usually Misuki had to apologize to people after trying to kill them, but since his transgressions this time had nothing to do with attempted murder, it should go over way better!

* * *

Before Mitsuki knew it, he was back in Konoha. The streetlights illuminated his path to Boruto’s house. He jumped up to the window to Boruto’s room, and knocked. And knocked. And knocked. After three times, the window was opened. 

“Boruto! I have something to tell yo-“

Boruto looked incredulous(and tired?). “Mitsuki? What the hell, it’s 2am?! You’ve been missing for almost a week, everyone was really worried! The genin exams are really soon! Shino-sensei said that he called your parent and that all he heard on the other end of the line was church music!”

“I went to my parent’s place because I had to think. I lost track of time, you know how it is with caves.” Mitsuki said.

“Uh, no.”

“The thing I wanted to tell you was that I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. It was wrong of me to try to manipulate you. You have the right to make your own choices, and so have I. I’m choosing to not watch over you anymore, but be your friend instead.” 

Boruto’s expression softened. “Oh, so that’s why you were gone for so long, you felt bad… Well, anyway, apology accepted, it’s fine, it’s cool, we’re still friends. But! Maybe next time, we can talk in the daytime?! I’m going to bed now, good night, see you in school tomorrow BYE!” Boruto punctuated the end of his sentence with closing his window.

Well, that had gone really well! Mitsuki patted himself on the back comfortingly, making use of his overtly flexible joints(or as Boruto himself had once described it: noodle arms). Now they were definitely the best of friends again! He just had to stick to his promise.


	6. How do I work this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Mitsuki, Sarada and Boruto are in the same team now, the new and improved Team 7, they must learn how to work together! Especially when they're going on secret Byakuya gang member-capturing missions! Will they infight until death comes upon them, or will Mitsuki have secret criminal connections that will save the day(for now)? 
> 
> Is 0% approved by Konohamaru-sensei!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo yo yo I'm back!! With a new, juicy chapter, that will rock your socks! This takes place during the episode wherein Team 7 go on the secret mission to capture a Byakuya member(you know, in the desert, failing miserably, etc) because I wanted to explain where they got their.... very original... "plan" from. TL;DR I thought it was hilarious and wanted to make some jokes!
> 
> Beta:d and ninja proof-read by @reaperduckling, as always.

**Chapter 6-How do I work this**

“You know, now that we’re genin, the new and improved Team 7 has got to make some waves around here! So, how will we take down the Byakuya gang ice jutsu user? I say that we trick him into meeting up with us by pretending to make business with him! Maybe we can pretend to have a suitcase full of money and then we throw the suitcase at him it’s- WHAPOW! Me! Boruto! Disguised as a suitcase! I will tackle the thief and put him into a stronghold, and then I say we make him talk!” Boruto punctuated the last bit by air-boxing. Mitsuki could practically feel the excitement buzzing off him across the table. It was kind of adorable, actually.

“This plan is just you being a glory boy as always, and keep your voice down! We have to keep this plan a secret!” Sarada whispered angrily. Maybe making their secret crime-stopping plans in the busy Thunder Burger, the restaurant they always went to, was a bad idea. However, Boruto had complained about being hungry, so here they were.

“Yea yea, Sarada, whatever, so what’s your plan?”

“I-I-don’t know _yet,_ but when I think of one, it’s at least gonna be way better than this!” Sarada replied, in the manner of a person who had no idea what their plan was gonna be. Well, maybe it was worth building onto?

“I actually think the base of Boruto’s plan might not be half bad, but I do have some comments and suggestions.“ Mitsuki began, matter-of-factly. He continued:

“First of all, I think Sarada should transform into the bag, because she is the most physically strong out of all three of us. But that leaves me and Boruto. So, secondly, what are we going to do? I don’t think the Byakuya gang member is going to do business with two kids, even if we have a suitcase.”

“You know, that’s what I was thinking! We sit on eachother’s shoulders, wear a cape, and pretend to be one adult! It’s bulletproof!”

…what.

Sarada sighed deeply, and rubbed her temples while practically sinking into the table. “Why wouldn’t you two just _transform_ so you _look_ like adults? You know, disguises? Boruto, you watch too many cartoons.”

Both Sarada and Boruto looked over at Mitsuki, like they were expecting him to say something. But Mitsuki was still _really_ stuck on that “both wearing a cape so that you look like an adult” thing. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. It was. The worst plan he’d heard. Ever.

The silence stretched on for many minutes, until it probably “got awkward” as other kids would say. But what was there to talk about if Boruto’s usually so ingenious brain spat up something like _this_?

“Uh, Mitsuki, you in there?” Mitsuki was startled back into reality by Sarada waving her hand in his face. Maybe it was best to just say it.

“Boruto, usually your ideas and impulses are pretty good, but this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Why would the Byakuya gang member think that we are an adult if we just sat on eachother’s shoulders and wore a cape? Where did you even get that from? We would still need to disguise one person’s face-“

 “Hat.” Boruto cut in.

“Ok, but what about the person doing the talking? None of our voices have dropped yet-“

  
“I’ll just do my Kagemase impression. You know, the ninja superhero?” Boruto cut in yet again.

Oh yeah, the Kasemaga impression that Boruto did at least once a day! Mitsuki thought that it was actually a pretty good imitation, even if he did have a pretty limited knowledge about the source material. He took a deep breath.

“Yeah ok, those two were basically all my concerns. I’m all for it then.”

Sarada groaned like she was having a massive headache. She always seemed to have them around Boruto.

“Really, you guys? We’re gonna…. Ok, whatever, fine, I don’t care anymore, let’s just do this plan. If it fails, I’m blaming you, Boruto. However, how are we gonna make first contact with the Byakuya gang and tell them that we want to sell them stuff? We don’t have any criminal contacts… Except….” She looked uncomfortably over at Mitsuki.

“Hey, Mitsuki… You do a lot of sneaking around town at night, right? Have you… seen anything… fishy…?” She did a wibble-wobble hand gesture like she was describing something that she didn’t want to say outright. Maybe that was for the best.

“I know a guy. We should probably leave it at that. And with that, I have to make a phonecall!” He got up out of his seat and made his way out of the Burger restaurant. Mitsuki looked back through the window at Boruto and Sarada, both of whom looked extremely uncomfortable. He gave them a thumbs up(a good, reassuring gesture!).

-*-

Now, where to make this phone call…. Somehow it would feel better to do it on top of a building, especially since it was the middle of the day and the streets were full with people who could overhear. On top of the roof of the Burger place it was, then! He quickly jumped up and started making a snake phone call… to… his parent. But it went straight to voice mail.

“Hey! Orochimaru residence speaking! I am out right now, but leave me a message! Also, if this is that Sukea reporter guy that was secretly Kakashi from Konoha village, STOP CALLING! I have dumped you long ago! We might have gone on ONE bungy jumping date, but as soon as our disguise wigs came off while mid-air and we learned of eachothers’ real identites, it just felt REALLY weird! I can’t date you! Ok bye.” was what Mitsuki was greeted with.

Huh. Ok.

 Nevermind all that, let’s just leave a message then?

“Hey Dad, you should call me back. It’s about a mission. Bye!”

Well, now there only was… to wait. While Mitsuki waited, he contemplated what Boruto would say if Mitsuki could fulfill his part of the plan so they could go on their secret mission. Boruto would probably say “Oh, sweet!” This is gonna go so well, you guys!” with confidence. How Sarada would react did not feel as important. Not that Mitsuki didn’t like her, she was really nice (and competent), it’s just that he didn’t feel the need to impress her as much.

After sitting on the hot roof for a while and getting a probably really bad sunburn, he was just about to leave to go to the pharmacy when Orochimaru called him back.

“Yes?”

“Oh hey there, my child! Did your instructor _really_ tell you to talk to me? I actually remember personally ripping his family apart by skillfully assassinating his grandfather, the third Hokage, but he really wanted you to get advice from little ol’ me? That really goes to show that-“

“Wait, no, Dad, Konohamaru-sensei isn’t involved in this at all, we’re going on a rouge mission without him knowing. We want to contact the Byakuya gang, make them think that we want to do business with them, and then ambush them when we have drawn them out.”

“Oh. Ooooooh. Well, that sounds like fun, I’ll get someone to send a message to them and you get to choose a time and a place. Good luck, have fun, you know, the usual. I’ll be in touch! Bye!”

Well, that was that. Mitsuki decided to go back into Thunder Burger to greet his friends with the good news, only discover that Boruto and Sarada were gone and it was actually near closing time. Several hours had passed. Oh. That explained the really bad sunburn and why he felt so lightheaded. Well, they could always try again tomorrow.

 

 -*-

 

The next day, Mitsuki went to the group’s usual meeting spot. Unsurprisingly, Sarada was the only one there yet.

“Where did you go yesterday? You just said that you were gonna take a phonecall, but then you completely disappeared. Boruto and I waited for hours. And why do you look so sunburnt?” Sarada mostly seemed really confused.

“My parent didn’t answer right away. But it’s done now, we’ll meet up with a person from the Byakuya gang by the train tracks in the desert at 3 pm today. I already have a big, dark cloak that I brought from home, we can use that as part of the disguise. And the sunburn is because- ”

“-…your…. Parent?? Wait, what? Does your parent have criminal contacts? That sounds really weird, Mitsuki, what-“

“Yeah, my parent led an organized ninja crime group before the great third Ninja war. He assassinated the third Hokage, amongst other things. Your father, Sasuke Uchiha, was his protégé for a while, but they went separate ways.”

Sarada’s expression looked like something really, really bad had happened. Almost like the conversation topic was making her uncomfortable. Maybe it was time for a topic change?

“So uh, hey, have you seen that new Kasemaga movie…” he began, but was interrupted by Sarada.

“Wait, wait! Are you telling me that your parent is _Orochimaru_? _The_ Orochimaru that betrayed his own village? The one that manipulated my father into turning his back on his friends while he was still an impressionable and vulnerable child?” Sarada said.

“Yeah, he did a lot of stuff like that in the past. He still is very manipulative to be honest, even if he works for the benefit of Konoha now. I’m pretty much doing what I want as of this point though, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Huh. I guess this all explains your copious amounts of snakes.” Sarada said. “But I don’t think it changes much? Even if our dads’ have their bad history, we can be still be teammates. I mean, the whole point of the new team 7 is to be even greater than the past!” She giggled on the last part, but the giggling stopped when the sound of someone screaming their lungs off (most likely a tween boy judging by how much their voice cracked) approached, coupled with rapid footsteps.

“Yooooo guys! Sorry for being late, I had an emergency that needed to be taken care of! I had to…. Uh…. Save a… cat! That was…. In a tree…. Actually I just overslept, hehe!”

Boruto had just entered the scene!

“That’s fine.” Mitsuki said. “We were just talking about how we’re going to meet up with the Byakuya gang member, I even brought a cloak that we can wear.”

“Oh, sweet! This is gonna go so well, you guys!” Boruto chirped excitedly.

 

-*-

 

It didn’t.

 

-*-

 

“Hey… You know…” Boruto said. “Maybe we shouldn’t have gone off on our own without Konohamaru-sensei…”

“This was your idea from the beginning!” Sarada responded.

“That can be discussed!” Boruto said, very defensively. “Well, now I’m feeling all sorts of conflicted about trying to stop the Byakuya gang after that guy told us about them helping the poor! I don’t like it! I like to know what I’m feeling, and this feels really…. Squiggly in my gut! I don’t like it, not at all!”

Sarada mumbled something about “indigestion”. But maybe she was wrong!

“Squiggly? You mean that you feel bad, because you learned that the situation was a lot more complex than you thought?” Mitsuki said.

“No! Absolutely not!” Boruto huffed. He crossed his arms and looked away.

“Anyways… Maybe we should leave this to the adults to figure out. Also, I’ve been thinking… Next time we make plans for a mission, _with_ Konohamaru-sensei knowing this time around-” Sarada said pointedly, while looking intensely at Boruto, and also pointing at Boruto. She was probably kind of mad at Boruto. She continued:

“We should make a group chat on the computer so that we can update eachother faster, instead of having to wait until the next morning to get news. It’s just a lot more practical.”

It did sound practical!

 

**-*-**

 

 **Sarada Uchiha** _has created a new group chat._

 _Group chat name was changed to_ **Team 7 group chat.**

 **Sarada Uchiha** added **Boruto Uzumaki** _to the group chat._

 **Boruto Uzumaki** _changed his group chat name to_ **Kagemasafan9000.**

 **Sarada Uchiha:** Really, Boruto? In this official group chat of team 7? You’re gonna change your screen name to that?

 **Kagemasafan9000:** hehe

 **Kagemasafan9000:** shouldn’t we add mitsuki too? do you have his social media

 **Sarada Uchiha:** I thought you had him added? I don’t even know what his last name is, but I could just search on Ninja Facebook for his first name, I guess….

 **Kagemasafan9000:** while you do that, enjoy this meme

 **Kagemasafan9000** _sent a picture._

__

 

 **Sarada Uchiha:** ……

 **Sarada Uchiha** _added_ **Mitsuki (?)** _to the group chat._

 **Mitsuki (?):** Thanksss for adding me, Sssarada. What a lovely picture, Boruto. Looksss jussst like the owl masssksss that the Byakuya gang wear.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** oh god why no why do you type like that??

 **Mitsuki(?):**?

 **Mitsuki(?):** Oh, you mean the extra lettersss? That’sss jussst what happensss when you use sssnake phonesss to type.

 **Sarada Uchiha:** You don’t have a regular Smort Phone? Or a computer?

 **Mitsuki(?):** No.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** no it’s kagemasa…….. mitsuki…….. you’re the one misspelling it… how could you do this to me BUDDY

 **Sarada Uchiha:** This seems like a very miniscule problem….

 **Kagemasafan9000:** how DAREST THOU SAYETH THAT

 **Kagemasafan9000** : kagemasa is serious business, and i am the one spelling it correctly

 **Mitsuki(?):** Ok, geez, fair enough.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** nooo I was just joking, it’s not that big of a deal!!

 **Sarada Uchiha :**….this group chat is for planning Team 7 ninja missions, not for arguing about Kagemasa! Anyways, Boruto, I don’t know anything about new missions, we’ll have to ask Konohamaru-sensei.

 **Kagemasafan9000** : aaa ok **.** but what if we, team 7, plan a ninja mission……. to go to the cinema and watch the third Kagemasa movie?? tahts on topic, right?? its gonna come out 2morrow, i really wanna see it! shikadai said that he was busy so we could see it 2gether if you guys wanna

 **Kagemasafan9000:** guys?

 **Kagemasfan9000:** guuuuuuuuuuuuuuys

 _√ Seen by_ **Sarada Uchiha** , **Mitsuki(?)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next (and maybe the last??)chapter is coming soon(ish??). It will have awkward attempts at romance, group chat drama, crying in bathrooms(maybe), Cho Cho, GUYLINER, Orochimaru actually being a decent parent for once, and much more! I'm gonna try to post it soon-ish but you know.... with me you never know.... 
> 
> But seriously, I'm gonna be working on it and hopefully it'll be done soon :D


	7. Yeah, terrible!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The exciting final chapter wherein everything comes to an end! Social anxiety arises, Orochimaru is(sort of) a good parent, crying in bathrooms, and awkward tween attempts at romance! It has it all! Also Cho Cho!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo yo yo this is the final chapter of this... beast... Before we continue, I have some notes:
> 
> 1) This chapter depicts social anxiety and a somewhat-anxiety attack. It's not very graphic, but I want to be clear on that.  
> 2) So I actually re-read some oldschool Naruto the other day and man, I kind of regret making Orochimaru so (somewhat) sympathetic in this fanfic. But oh well :D  
> 3) There will be attempts at romance in this chapter, but it's very one-sided. So this is not a very "shippy" fanfic, jsyk.

**Kagemasafan9000:** anyway this is u mitsuki

 **Kagemasafan9000** _sent a picture_

__

**Mitsuki(?):** I don’t underssstand that at all.

 **Kagemasafan9000:** it’s u!!! because you’re always following me around.

 **Sarada Uchiha:** I hate to say this, but this one is actually pretty accurate!

 **Mitsuki(?):** Wait, isss that wrong of me?

 **Kagemasafan9000:** no not really since we’re friends but it’s just a joke

 **Mitsuki(?):** Isss that the kind of behavior that makesss you uncomfortable? Becaussse I’ve really tried to act differently lately…

 **Kagemasafan9000:** no it’s cool, we’re good, it’s just a joke!!! yanno

 **Sarada Uchiha:** Am I missing something here?

 **Kagemasafan9000:** no no it’s nothing so uuuh what’s the next mission u guise

* * *

 

 After yet another Konohamaru-sensei-sanctioned mission (saving a cat that had climbed up a tree), the new (and improved!)Team 7 went back to the usual Burger restaurant because, as always, Boruto was hungry. And (furthermore) as always, Sarada and Boruto were squabbling over… something.

“Why did you have to try climb up the tree, Boruto? You literally have Mr “Bendy-arms-jutsu” on your team! That’s why we were assigned the mission in the first place!” Sarada seemed very irritated.

“To his defense, it was kind of funny. And no one got hurt.” Mitsuki said.

Boruto looked up from his burger to dramatically point at him. “You see, Sarada! Here we have a case of a team-mate who doesn’t nag me for every single thing I do! Like he said, the tree completely breaking off didn’t matter, no-one got hurt anyways!” Boruto took a celebratory bite of his food, probably to compliment himself on an argument well-won. But it was for nothing.

“Yeah, _no-one_ got hurt, but the client’s house got damaged! This is the problem with you, you have no sense of restraint whatsoever! I actually totally agree with the client, you _should_ go back to ninja school! ” Sarada clipped back. 

Maybe it was time to calm the situation down. Maybe insinuate that Boruto and Sarada were probably going to get married when they grow up? A lot of their classmates at the Academy had done that, and it had always distracted the joint Boruto-Sarada angry attention from each other, and directed it to the person saying it. And Mitsuki kind of agreed, Boruto and Sarada getting hitched in 10-15 years was pretty likely. Before Boruto had confronted him about being “weird” and “creepy”, he had even planned an outline of his Best Man speech for their future. He hadn’t worked on the speech outline since out of respect, but had kept it just in case(it could _possibly_ come in handy later on). It wasn’t that weird, right?

But, right now, wouldn’t saying that kind of count as that “trying to pressure Boruto into following a certain path”-thing that Mitsuki was not supposed to do anymore? Maybe that would make everything “awkward”? Maybe it was best to say something else then.

“Boruto, do you have any more of those lovely “maymays” that you sent in the group chat?” Mitsuki asked. Boruto and Sarada turned away from staring angrily from eachother, to staring angrily at Mitsuki instead.

“Don’t even get him starte-“

“No, Sarada, I will get started! They’re actually called “memes”, and they’re not lovely, they’re _dank_!”

“Boruto. I grew up in a cave, all of those things sound pretty much the same to me.” Mitsuki deadpanned.

“Huh. Well to be fair, I do have a few…” Boruto looked at his phone for a second before looking back at Mitsuki. “Hey, you’re not still upset about the meme I made about you? It was just a joke, like I said.”

“No, no, of course not. I just don’t understand what you meant by it.” To be fair, he was a little bit upset still. Maybe a lot, actually.

Boruto looked profoundly uncomfortable, an expression that he hadn’t made in a long time. “Well…” he began. Then he stopped. Then he looked at Sarada pleadingly.

 “Sarada, will you… uh, leave?”

 Sarada stood up abruptly and almost ran towards the door. That seemed like a bad sign.

“Look, Mitsuki…. You have been really nice lately so we are one hundred percent cool, I promise, but you did come across kind of strong when you first got here. For a while. We have already talked about that, you know, with the “I’m watching over you”-stuff? I still don’t understand what that was all about, but what’s important is that you have been acting way better lately. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be friends with someone, and we totally are! So that is not the problem at all! You understand?” Boruto said.

 He was speaking way more carefully than usual, like you would with someone on their just-had-their-memory-erased-sickbed(Mitsuki knew that tone from experience).

Then Mitsuki said something that he initially thought was braver than anything he’d ever done.

“So, it’s ok that I like you?”

Boruto did not react the way Mitsuki thought he’d do to that question. But when did he ever?

“Yes yes, that’s exactly what I’ve been saying over and over, it’s pefectly ok to want to be friends with someone. Totally fine! It’s the weird stuff that’s bad!” Boruto said, waving his hands in the air like a windmill.

…huh. That one went way over Boruto’s head, didn’t it?

Maybe what Mitsuki had actually meant was, unbeknownst to him, actually included in the “weird stuff”?

Oh god.

“Ok, good. I’m going to go and make a phonecall now, bye.” Mitsuki suddenly stood up and walked out of Thunder Burger. When he met Sarada outside, he gave her a thumbs up(a seemingly calm, reassuring gesture!).

“Uh, are you guys… done…” she asked.

“Yep!” Mitsuki answered, which was also a seemingly calm, reassuring answer. But what he actually felt, emotion-wise, was completely different.

* * *

 

“Oh, so you’re THAT age now, when you start to notice boys! Or girls! Whatever, really! It seemed like only yesterday I harvested you out of the lab tube, and look how mature you’re getting! But wait, I thought that it was girl-Sasuke that liked Boruto? Mitsuki, you literally asked me for advice on how to write a best man speech for their future wedding a while back.”

The tinny sound of Orochimaru’s voice on the other end of the snake telephone line was reassuring, but also sort of not.

“Uh, now that you mention it, that might’ve been me projecting my feelings for Boruto onto Sarada.”

 “Yeah, that’s pretty common, apparently. Anyways, I think it’s ok to have crushes, but in the end you guys are like… twelve? You’re twelve, right?”  Orochimaru said.

“Well, Boruto is twelve, yes… But Dad, I don’t really know how old I am since you erased a bunch of my memories, don’t you remember? Shouldn’t you know how old I am anyway?”

“Oh yeah, right, I _did_ do that! Totally my bad, but anyways! What I am saying is whether it works out, it’s not a big deal. Life goes on, et cetera. But you are allowed to feel what you feel, as long as it doesn’t make you sad. Feeling sad is ok too, I guess. But if it makes you sad, you should come over for some parent-child Ninja Catch bonding! Or! Do you think that we should go on a kayaking trip? Or-“

“Maybe if we have a break for summer or something? I can’t just go whenever, apparently it makes people worry when you just go missing for a week. However, I have to ask you something. Something important. Does having a crush on somebody count as ‘weird’?” Mitsuki said.

“Oh no, of course not, I think? Depends, I guess. Although, we’re the Orochimaru clan, weird comes with the territory. Now, more importantly, do you think your older brother would fit in the kayak too? He needs some fresh air, he smokes like a chimney! You know, when I was his age….-“

While Orochimaru complained about Log’s smoking habits for what felt like an eternity, Mitsuki started feeling more and more anxious.

Well, he was undoubtly a part of the Orochimaru clan. All of the furniture in his room was snake-themed by his request, he loved snakes in general, and the first thing he had apparently ever drawn(pre-amnesia) had been writing the word “snake” in fancy calligraphy on a piece of paper(Orochimaru had been so proud that he framed it and put in on the wall). If weirdness was a family trait maybe it was so inescapable that he’d make Boruto uncomfortable, no matter what he did?

“…anyways, those are the top ten family gatherings that Log has ruined with his smoking. Now, a kayaking trip is the best solution to this, as I can cleverly throw all his cigarettes in the river when he’s not looking. By then we’ll be so far in the wilderness that there won’t be any stores nearby. That, coupled with some classic passive-aggressiveness from yours truly, he’ll stop smoking in a heartbeat!” Orochimaru said confidently.

“That sounds really mean.” Mitsuki said, finally listening again.

“That’s the point! I’m not nice!”

“Ok… Anyways, what is up with your current voicemail about going bungy jumping in a wig with someone who turned out to be Kakashi in disguise? Am I missing something?”

There was a long pause.

“… That’s a story for when you’re olde…. Never! Absolutely never! Ok, bye son! Love you, talk to you later!”

And then, Orochimaru hung up. To be fair, maybe Mitsuki didn’t really want to know. But there was something else he wanted to know.

* * *

 

 **Mitsuki(?):** Boruto do you like me?

 **Mitsuki(?):** Wait thisss isss the group chat

 **Mitsuki(?):** It wasssn’t me who sssent that, it was one of my sssnakesss

 **Mitsuki(?)** _left the group chat._

 **Sarada Uchiha:** Wait what?? What’s that about?

 **Kagemasafan9000:** i have honestly no idea add him back

 **Sarada Uchiha** _added_ **Mitsuki (?)** _to the group chat._

 **Mitsuki(?)** _left the group chat._

 **Sarada Uchiha:** I guess he doesn’t want to be in the group chat then. Maybe he thinks that you dislike him, Boruto?

 **Kagemasafan9000:** that sounds really weird since i’m always nice to him!!? ok there was that one time i told him he was being kinda weird but then he apologized to me and we have had no problems since?? That was actually what we talked about earlier today when I asked you to leave… MITSUKI TALK TO ME BUDDYYYY

 **Sarada Uchiha:** You should probably talk to him next time you see him. It would really suck if he went around thinking that you disliked him!

* * *

 

Actually asking Boruto how he felt had indeed sounded like a good idea at the time, but it was one that Mitsuki had immediately regretted (especially accidentally sending his message in the group chat, of all places). After quitting the group chat, getting added back in, and then quitting a second time, he did _absolutely_ not feel any better. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he had done wrong, and how everything from now would probably go wrong to. Maybe a light snack (a jumbo bag of cheese puffs) would make him feel better?

While Mitsuki was walking to the grocery store, he passed by the Ninja Academy building. Someone was standing outside the gate with his back turned to him. Someone with a black and pink tracksuit… Oh crap, it was Boruto! Panicked, Mitsuki ninja jumped over the fence to the school and ran, very, very fast into the building. He raced up the stairs and into one of the bathrooms, as no-one would (probably) ever find him there!

However, it turned out that hiding in one of the stalls didn’t really do much for the “overthinking” problem. Left only to himself, Mitsuki’s mind started replaying the events of the previous days.

During the cat-saving mission that had turned into Boruto breaking off a tree into the client’s house, he had probably stared at Boruto for way too long for that one moment. Boruto probably thought that his staring was really, really creepy, and probably wanted nothing more to do with him. And! How could Mitsuki have been so stupid to actually tell Boruto that he _liked_ him, what the hell, that was probably the creepiest thing he had ever done. Probably even worse than moving to Konoha only because he wanted to be friends with Boruto, and definitely worse than trying to kill Sumire.

Wait, what? He had apologized to Sumire already, why was that still something that he was thinking about? But, looking back… hadn’t he _technically_ cornered her alone in a dark alley? Wasn’t that… kind of creepy? And when Mitsuki had left, he had heard sniveling noises. At the time he had assumed that it had been a raccoon. But considering that he was making the exact kind of sniveling noises right now, and he was definitely crying, it had probably been Sumire doing the same. He had really upset her that badly. Crap.

Maybe he should apologize to Sumire again, he thought. Maybe while _not_ cornering her in a dark alleyway. That would probabaly work better. But that was for later on, the Boruto situation was more urgent (and it actually felt a lot better after crying). Mitsuki walked up to the sinks, and stared at his reflection. His eyeliner had smudged to the point of the lower part of his face being completely grey. It was not a good look. While he was washing his face, someone walked in.

“Hey, Mitsuki, did you hear someone crying in here or what?” That valley-girl accent… the crunch of potato chips being eaten…

“Cho Cho, this is the boy’s bathroom! Why are you in here?” Mitsuki said while looking up at her and also simultaneously splashing his face (and now clothes) with water.

“Because I heard someone crying, that’s all!” Cho Cho responded huffily. “It’s ok to go into the boy’s bathroom if it’s to check on someone who might be sad!”

“You probably misheard.” Mitsuki replied, sounding a lot more defensive than he had planned on.

Cho Cho shrugged and ate another potato chip. Mitsuki decided to not prolong the conversation (talking to Cho Cho never seemed to end well for some reason) and instead got out his eyeliner out of his bag to re-do it. No-one needed to know that he had been crying.

“Hey wait, do you also use the Maybelieve iT! Eyeliner?” Cho Cho sounded really surprised.

“I don’t understand why you’re still here, but yes.” Mitsuki said.

“Aaaaa! You don’t use the guyliner stuff that the other guys use? Shikadai uses that, I know because I asked, and he always gets mad at me for calling it makeup, apparently he prefers the term ‘manly ninja war paint’. How was I supposed to know that? Why is it so wrong to want to bond with my friends’ over makeup products? Guys are so weird sometimes…”

As Mitsuki had pretended to have listened to most of that (he was very busy perfecting his cateye), he didn’t quite follow along, but felt like he needed to respond. “Huh.” He said. Perfect! Both the cateye and the response to Cho Cho.

“You know, I usually don’t like you because you’re kind of weird and one time you almost killed me in a training exercise by destroying the scaffolding I was standing on. But! If you use the same eyeliner as me, I can respect you. Kind of.” she said.

 “I have no idea how to respond to that.” Mitsuki felt like he should probably just go ahead and leave the bathroom now, as this conversation was going exactly like all other conversations with everyone who wasn’t Boruto or maybe Sarada was going. Which was: probably not that good (it was hard to tell).

While he tried to walk out the doorway, Cho Cho stopped him.

“Hey… wait a minute. I heard someone crying in this bathroom… You’re fixing your eyeliner… You’re a lot more clippy than usual… Were you the one crying?” Cho Cho said, looking kind of concerned, actually.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m leaving now!” Mitsuki limbo-leaned backwards to escape Cho Cho’s upheld hand, and started sprinting away.

“You can’t run away from your feelings!” she screamed after him, but she didn’t follow him. While running down the corridor and rounding a corner, he started hearing a familiar voice.

 “Hey what’s up you guys, uh, yanno, have you seen…”

Crapcrapcrap it was Boruto yet again!

Mitsuki quickly hid in a locker. Through the vents in the locker, he could see Boruto meeting up with Shikadai and Inojin in the corridor.

 “Are you looking for Mitsuki? He ran up the stairs in hyper speed a short while ago, he’s probably still on this floor. It was really weird, even for him.” Shikadai said.

“Uh yeah, he’s been acting really off lately… I mean, at first he was being really nice and a super helpful teammate for a really long while, but suddenly he just started acting really anxious… I don’t know what it’s about, honestly, but I’m gonna try talking to him about it.” Boruto said.

“Yeah, I heard that he’s been doing really great in the new Team 7, maybe we were a little bit harsh on him before.” Inojin said, with slight regret.

Cho Cho joined them.

“You guys, you won’t believe this-Oh, Boruto! , I found Mitsuki crying in the bathroom earlier, do you think that he’s been replaced by an impostor? Because like… that’s kind of out of character for him, right? “ Cho Cho asked.

“What? He’s that upset? Well, I don’t know about the impostor theory, Cho Cho, but he has been acting super weird lately. You know how he sometimes misinterprets things? I think he’s just misunderstood something, honestly, but I don’t know that.” Boruto answered.

“Wait, he does that? Well, it still doesn’t explain him showing an actual emotion. Oh well, it’s not really my business anyways, it’s probably best if whatever issue you have stays between you guys.  Like I said, he ran away from me just now, so he’s probably still in the building.”

As much social anxiety as Mitsuki was feeling, this was getting ridiculous. It was like a wild goose chase at this point.

He opened the locker door, and was greeted by loud screaming.

“Boruto! You, me, roof, now!” Mitsuki yelled (and then had to repeat himself several times because Ino-Shika-Cho trio wouldn’t stop screaming like they were watching a horror movie or something).

“Wait, what, what? Firstly: Were you there the whole time? And secondly: are you gonna fight me? I don’t want to fight you, yanno, what the hell!” Boruto said, incredulous.

“What? No, obviously I want to talk to you.” Mitsuki said. This conversation was not going the way he wanted to. But when did it ever.

The Ino-Shika-Cho trio had seemed to calm down a bit, and they started to slowly back away.

“Uh, Boruto, good luck… with that. We’re leaving now, bye!” Cho Cho said before walking away with her team very briskly.

Boruto covered his face with his hands.

“Ok, if you want to go to the roof, let’s go to the roof. Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

So on the roof they went!

* * *

 

 

As soon as they had walked up the stairs and arrived on the roof, Mitsuki felt like it was time to actually talk about the subject matter at hand.

“Boruto, do you remember when I asked if you liked me?”

“What? Yes of course, I’m not _that_ forgetful, it was today, after all! Yeah, that was kind of out of the left field, or maybe not really, you have been acting kind of really anxious lately…”

“Yes. And do you remember when I said that I liked you at Thunder Burger.”

“Yeah, that was yesterday. Geez, do you think that I have memory problems or something?”

“I just don’t think you understood. I meant it in a more than friends’ way. A gay way.” Mitsuki braced himself.

At first, Boruto made a very surprised expression. But then, his face went very smug/relieved. He even did a cool pose. It kind of looking like a superhero pose, maybe it was from Kasemag-or what was the actual name? Kagemasa?

“Oh, ok, that explains a lot, actually! That’s a _lot_ less creepy than I thought at first, I originally thought that you were gonna peel the skin off my face and wear it like a hat! …Sorry, that’s mean, it’s just a Kagemasa reference. The villain does that once in the extended director’s cut of the third movie… But what I was saying is that you’re not creepy at all, I’m super flattered actually, but I’m not interested. However, it’s ok! I’m actually really happy that it wasn’t something bad, like, I thought that you thought that I hated you! We’re good!”

Boruto gave him a big thumbs up.

“Huh. Ok. That’s…. you’re taking this a lot better than I was expecting. And well, I wasn’t at all planning on making your face into a hat, but my parent actually has a pretty big hat collection that he made of the faces of his previous bodies. It’s not as weird as it sounds.” Mitsuki said, honestly grateful for the opportunity to change the subject.

“Maybe the Kagemasa writers got their inspiration from him then!” Boruto replied, chuckling, but sounding slightly strained. “Who is your parent anyway, he sounds… like… a character…”

Before Mitsuki could speak, Boruto interrupted him.

“Wait….I have a hunch… The snake motif… The fact that you call him on a snake phone… He making hats out of faces… The overall amount of snakes…. Hm… Oh, I know! It’s Jiraya, isn’t it! I can see the family resemblance, you both have white hair! Also, he could’ve probably come back from the dead if he wanted to! I bet it’s him!” Boruto said proudly.

If Mitsuki had been a more emotive person, he would have facepalmed.

“What? No, it’s not Jiraya.” Mitsuki said.

Boruto seemed really disappointed at that, so Mitsuki decided to just outright say it.

“My parent is Orochimaru. You know, snakes and all that.”

“Oh! The snake guy! I knew it, hehe! Well, that explains a lot!” Boruto said.

“Sarada said the same thing.”

* * *

 

The summer sun was scorching, the water in the river was refreshingly cold, and the Orochimaru family kayaking trip was a great success. The wilderness was home to of lots of different species of snakes, which was really fun to see and experience (and write down in their snake-watching-journal). When Mitsuki had told his teammates that he was going on a snake safari kayaking trip with his parent, they had said in unison: “Yeah, I can see you guys doing that”. Which was (probably) great, because it really was awesome!

“It’s really a shame Log isn’t here to see this! We could’ve just gotten three kayaks instead of two, it could’ve been really fun!” Orochimaru said, breaking the ambience with his complaining.

“Dad, he figured out that you were planning on trying to get him to quit smoking by throwing away his cigarettes. Of course he wasn’t going to come!”

“Yeah, and I still don’t understand how he foresaw my genius ruse! It’s almost like my family expects me to be making manipulative plans behind their backs by now! The nerve!”

 Orochimaru shook his first in the air.

“Dad, he “figured it out” because I told him. It just seemed like the right thing to do.” Mitsuki said.

Orochimaru turned over dramatically (and splashed a lot of water on his lifejacket by dropping his paddle) to look at Mitsuki.

“You, having a moral compass? You, betraying me? You, actually caring about something? Why I nev-…Eh, I should really expect it at this point. I kind of had it coming, didn’t I? Sometimes I regret sending you to Konoha, you know.”

“Yeah, but I don’t regret going! I have learned so much the past year from Boruto, Sarada, and the others. I can’t believe I used to think that it was normal to actually try to kill other people while sparring!”

Orochimaru winced.

“Yeah, that one belief might’ve been… kind of my fault… Hey, anyways, on a topic that isn’t about how I’ve _sort of_ failed as a parent, how did you crush situation work out? If you’re gonna embarrass me, I’m gonna embarrass you too!”

 Orochimaru hit the water with his kayaking paddle, trying (and failing) to splash Mitsuki with water.

“Dad, that was like 5 months ago, and I already told you what happened! I told him, he rejected me, I moved on, we’re friends?” Mitsuki said while skillfully dodging the splashing water.

“Huh. That’s very… mature of you, Mitsuki! I take it back, I think going to Konoha has been really good for you. I mean, I’m technically banned from even entering _most_ villages, it’s not like I would know much about making friends. Maybe I should work on that? I mean, I am evidently a parent now, maybe I should start taking responsibility over my actions a bit more. You know, I think it all started when I was 8 years old and a seagull stole a hotdog from me on the beach. Since then I’ve just felt this… anger. It really goes to show that...-“

Mitsuki’s snake phone buzzed. He opened it, and saw that Boruto had sent a meme in the group chat.

 **Kagemasafan9000** _sent a picture_

__

**Kagemasafan9000:** hehhe

Mitsuki had no idea how to answer that. Exiting the group chat, and putting his snake phone down, he tuned in to what Orochimaru was saying again.

“…and that’s why that awful ninja superhero movie has a, frankly _, inaccurate_ portrayal of the noble art of making hats out of faces!”

Hm. Well, maybe it was best just not to listen for the time being, and just to enjoy the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give me kudos if you liked this :D


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